Children are a beautiful gift to inspire us to set the best example possible. We joke how they are miniature versions of ourselves because they copy everything we do. But it’s true! They notice every single thing we do and try to replicate it. They look to us as examples of how to manage their emotions. That’s why it’s imperative we keep ourselves calm and collected even when they are pushing us to our limits. That’s usually when spanking can turn a lot worse.
Many people thinking spanking is necessary to be able to raise kids properly. This is commonly associated with the stereotype of, “I was spanked as a child and I turned out just fine!” and “That’s the only way they’ll learn.” However, there are many other options to instill in your children other than putting your hands on them at all.
1. Time Outs
If you child is acting out, not listening or being hateful, time outs are a great route. Daycare facilities utilize this technique to discipline without spanking. Removing the child from the situation can help your child refocus their attention and give them time to think about it on their own. The rule of thumb is one minute per year depending on the age of the child. If he/she gets up and tries to leave time out, put them back and restart the timer.
This process can test your patience if they continue to get up, but being consistent teaches them you are serious and eventually they will understand. Keeping your calm and sticking to it is vital so in the future they will know what the time out means. If you give in, they will continue to defy timeout because they know you will cave.
2. Remove Their Favorite Toy Or Technology
A great way to teach them the lesson without spanking is restricting access to what they enjoy. Many kids today use a lot of technology to pass the time. You can remove TV or tablet privileges to prove a point about their actions or attitude and set a time they can get the device or toy back.
3. Chores or Helping Out Around The House
This one can benefit the both of you. Their extra chore or help must be suited to their age range but having them help out around the house more is a great way to discipline without spanking. They realize by acting a certain way or disrespecting you they don’t get the benefits of you taking care of things they may take for granted.
4. Offer Different Choices
Especially with young children, offering different options for them to choose on their own can help them feel included on the decision. For example, some kids avoid taking baths and a great way to help with this, is to give them the option to choose whether to shower in the morning or tonight. Or if they are past their TV time, try offering to play a board game with them or a fun craft.
5. Point System
Some households keep a point system instead of physical discipline. For example, as they complete chores and display good behavior, they accumulate points. As the points grow they can exchange those points for rewards. If the points fall below a certain point, you can associate consequences with that. With this method, it’s important to reiterate that doing the right thing and good behavior is more for than points.
Tips To Avoid Spanking
These are just a few different alternatives to spanking as discipline. You’d be surprised at the effectiveness of just sitting down and talking to your child. Your child may be acting out due to a deeper issue they are having a hard time communicating. Listen to your child and be the parent/example they deserve.
When enforcing these methods it’s important you are in the right mind set. If you are upset, let the anger pass before deciding punishment. Anger is hard to manage, however, we have an article here, that can help you manage it. No matter how tough, try to avoid yelling at your child. Spanking your child can only cause fear, not respect. Remember, your child isn’t giving you a hard time, your child is having a hard time.
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, they are your baby. They may be acting up or having a bad day or week, but you are their role model. How you react to their behavior will be detrimental, not only to their behavior now, but in their years to come. How can we teach our kids that violence is not the problem, when they see us solving our problems with violence?
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